It's funny how a very seemingly "normal" question can disarm you so easily.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" After the natural no, comes the other one:

"Why not?"

How the hell is one supposed to know? I used to think I'd answer such nonsense with something along the lines of "Ask all the guys who aren't with me", but today, I drew a blank.

Maybe it's cause I don't go out. Maybe it's cause I don't fit in the stereotype. Maybe it's cause I spend most of my day in a lab with other women, and after I'm done with that, I'm pretty pooped to think about something else. Hell, it may even be because I'm ugly and/or give out a "if you come near me, I will bite your balls off" vibe.

I have no clue. But today, that simple, cliche question made me feel bad, and not the usual kind of bad where you just feel like a pinch and then you're done. It's the kind of bad that stays in the back of your head and makes you chew and chew on the issue for hours, like a cow (Moo).

It made me notice a few things.

1. My power of suggestion over myself is amazing, for things that interest me. I made myself think that this guy was super, and that this was it... funny enough, a sober me would have kicked this bad version of me in the tits. I've exorcized most of that bad version of me, I hope.

2. I'm pretty fucked up, but I quite enjoy it. I'm able to listen to such a romantic song like "head over feet" by alanis morrisette while looking at a guide to domming your guy. I imagine stories with non-usual sex endings, cause the usual happy ending sickens me. I know what fanta is, and I also store lots of non-exactly-useful info in my mind, like the fact that a toast will always land on the side with the jam, cause it's heavier, and not cause of Murphy's law.

3. I'm a geek when it comes to biological stuff. All animals are cute (except cockroaches when they fly) in some way, shape or form, and DNA is infalible and also, the coolest thing ever to exist.

4. I'm an optimist most of the time, except when I'm down and I want the whole world to come down in flames. And I'm a romantic at heart, even though I know that the knight in shining armor doesn't exist and if he does, he's a jerk (see shrek 2), I still would like a guy that resembled him in the best ways, even if that guy's not real either.

5. I'd really like to have sex, and at this point, pretty much any kind of sex will do.

I like backs, like the cute guy on top.. makes me want to wake up looking at that back... I find them oh, so sexy...*swoons*